From the Associated PressRecent rumors surrounding the sighting of a new species in the wilderness area of 'American Fork' have the scientific community in an uproar. What is this new species, and where did it come from? Is the supply of goldfish crackers in real danger of diminishing to unsustainable levels? Is there any truth to the wild stories circulating about the the overwhelming cuteness associated with encountering the little buggers, and are such encounters safe?
These rare photos show attempts made by the surrounding community of 'Belle Monet' to corral some of these extrodinary critters in a vain attempt at domestication.
The attempt, while not successful, did give desperate scientists a chance to better study the creatures and attempt to learn something about them.
The best guess by the scientific community tell us that the creatures range in size and shape dramatically. Some have blondish hair, and some have darker shades, but all are about three feet in height, with a tremendous capacity for high-pitched screaming the likes of which the scientific community is at a loss to explain. Dr S Taylor claims that his research indicates the noises can be emitted as both signs of pleasure and "sheer joy," as he stated, but also in times of distress.
In the rare photo above, the group of critters can be seen interacting with each other and objects commonly found in their habitat. The bottles contain something similar to juice, althought it goes by many names or none at all. The creatures have been observed to have powerful methods of food aquisition, sometimes employing smiling gestures or even the forceful technique know as 'grab-and-run," which requires no sounds at all.
These shots indicate that the creatures enjoy dirt. Some argue that much can be learned from them, and some scientists are hopefull that not only will we be able to harness the energy that these creatures produce, but also some cures.
Much like cats and dogs eat grass when they are sick, the world waits with baited breath to see what results these actions produce....
As is evidenced by this photo, these two appear to be engaging in some sort of dirt worship service.
Some scientists claim to be able to determine the sex of the critters, but most of these guesses are based on the as-yet unproven idea that the males can be identified as having dirt smeared on their faces, hands and everywhere else dirt can possibly be smeared, but these assumptions have yet to gain very much credence with the broader scientific world.
The creatures seem to be capable of communicating with each other in what sounds like normal human speech patterns. Indeed, many of the mutterings sound very much like English-if early reports can be believed and substantiated.
Note the almost diabolical facination with the 'dirt worship service.' Also note the hands, covered in the yuckiest material possible. Scientists are still amazed at the capacity these creatures have for discovering the dirtiest possible materials to smear, taste and scatter.
The amount of time spent by these two in this spot of dirt was estimated to be at twenty minutes, which gives scientists some indication of just how important this dirt worship service is. Neither creature left until they were completely covered, and at one point, they were observed helping to ensure complete coverage of each other. This rare sight of cooperation was noted with glee, as cooperation in a trait not often observed with this group.
While the creatures only seem to 'work' together in mischief, they can sometimes be observed using a different approach. Scientists have termed it 'cuteness,' and they are working on establishing a mathematical corollation between how cute a creature is and how much trouble it can cause. The concensus so far is that the cuter a critter, the more trouble it is. This is viewed as defense mechanism on the part of the critters, which would go a long way in explaining why there are so many, and why more keep showing up, and why the ones that do cause the most trouble are still here.
Prolonged exposure to or contact with these creatures has been observed to do one of two surprsingly different things-either increase desire to "have one of our own," or increase the number of times one says things like "what was I thinking?" and "nobody told me about this part." How something could have such a polarizing effect on people is still being evaluated.
Making direct eye contact is not recommended, as it can lead to diminushed stocks of goldfish crackers, juice and wipes.
This level of observation is rare, as most moments when the critters are quiet are usually taken advantage of for other things, such as not going stark raving mad, or "quiet time, " as it is also known.
Those who risk such foolish behavior as looking directly into the eye part of the critter place themsleves at serious risk for heart-warming moments. Please do so only if you are healthy enough for heart-melting experience, as the effects are not yet known to be reversable. Once your heart has been melted, it is hard to ever go back.
These rare photos show attempts made by the surrounding community of 'Belle Monet' to corral some of these extrodinary critters in a vain attempt at domestication.
The attempt, while not successful, did give desperate scientists a chance to better study the creatures and attempt to learn something about them.
The best guess by the scientific community tell us that the creatures range in size and shape dramatically. Some have blondish hair, and some have darker shades, but all are about three feet in height, with a tremendous capacity for high-pitched screaming the likes of which the scientific community is at a loss to explain. Dr S Taylor claims that his research indicates the noises can be emitted as both signs of pleasure and "sheer joy," as he stated, but also in times of distress.
In the rare photo above, the group of critters can be seen interacting with each other and objects commonly found in their habitat. The bottles contain something similar to juice, althought it goes by many names or none at all. The creatures have been observed to have powerful methods of food aquisition, sometimes employing smiling gestures or even the forceful technique know as 'grab-and-run," which requires no sounds at all.
These shots indicate that the creatures enjoy dirt. Some argue that much can be learned from them, and some scientists are hopefull that not only will we be able to harness the energy that these creatures produce, but also some cures.
Much like cats and dogs eat grass when they are sick, the world waits with baited breath to see what results these actions produce....
As is evidenced by this photo, these two appear to be engaging in some sort of dirt worship service.
Some scientists claim to be able to determine the sex of the critters, but most of these guesses are based on the as-yet unproven idea that the males can be identified as having dirt smeared on their faces, hands and everywhere else dirt can possibly be smeared, but these assumptions have yet to gain very much credence with the broader scientific world.
The creatures seem to be capable of communicating with each other in what sounds like normal human speech patterns. Indeed, many of the mutterings sound very much like English-if early reports can be believed and substantiated.
Note the almost diabolical facination with the 'dirt worship service.' Also note the hands, covered in the yuckiest material possible. Scientists are still amazed at the capacity these creatures have for discovering the dirtiest possible materials to smear, taste and scatter.
The amount of time spent by these two in this spot of dirt was estimated to be at twenty minutes, which gives scientists some indication of just how important this dirt worship service is. Neither creature left until they were completely covered, and at one point, they were observed helping to ensure complete coverage of each other. This rare sight of cooperation was noted with glee, as cooperation in a trait not often observed with this group.
While the creatures only seem to 'work' together in mischief, they can sometimes be observed using a different approach. Scientists have termed it 'cuteness,' and they are working on establishing a mathematical corollation between how cute a creature is and how much trouble it can cause. The concensus so far is that the cuter a critter, the more trouble it is. This is viewed as defense mechanism on the part of the critters, which would go a long way in explaining why there are so many, and why more keep showing up, and why the ones that do cause the most trouble are still here.
Prolonged exposure to or contact with these creatures has been observed to do one of two surprsingly different things-either increase desire to "have one of our own," or increase the number of times one says things like "what was I thinking?" and "nobody told me about this part." How something could have such a polarizing effect on people is still being evaluated.
Making direct eye contact is not recommended, as it can lead to diminushed stocks of goldfish crackers, juice and wipes.
This level of observation is rare, as most moments when the critters are quiet are usually taken advantage of for other things, such as not going stark raving mad, or "quiet time, " as it is also known.
Those who risk such foolish behavior as looking directly into the eye part of the critter place themsleves at serious risk for heart-warming moments. Please do so only if you are healthy enough for heart-melting experience, as the effects are not yet known to be reversable. Once your heart has been melted, it is hard to ever go back.
3 comments:
You are so clever! You always make your posts so interesting!
First picture of kids in bike trailer: Jack is really intimidating that blondie. Funny!
Oh, the boy blondie, not the girl.
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