Baby Blue Eyes

On Saturday, I had the priviledge of watching Baby Sis, the daughter of one of our friends, while they were off at the temple. I dug out Jack's old walker and took a clorox wipe to it to get it ready for Baby Blue Eyes.
I had forgotten how magical it is to look into someone's eyes. Heather and I don't really have the kind of time we used to have to just stare at each other, and Jack kinda doesn't sit still for very long, much less let you look at him. So....... I'll admit it, right here, right now. Babies are nice. There, I said it. Heather would always complain about Jack growing up too fast, and I would gripe about him not growing up fast enough, but she's right. Looking in Baby Sis's eyes was amazing. All that good stuff, meaning of life, depths of eternity-it all comes into focus. I only had a few minutes with her before Jack woke up and the stress went to Defcon 5, but while he was still asleep, it was nice to just look into her peaceful eyes and think about stuff. How often does that happen? Plus, is she dang cute or what?

She thought it was ok, and wasn't as jazzed up as I thought she would have been, but then, neither was Jack back in the day. At least she wasn't on her back the whole time, and it gave me a break from holding her. That means that I'm not as good a mother as Ashley, cuz if that kid is awake, she's in Ashley's arms. She must have biceps of steel.

She almost fit in it too. I only had to use two pillows to prop her up.

The funny thing about Jack and having Baby Blue Eyes around was the level of alertness. When you have a baby, you're constantly on the highest level of keyed-up you can be. I hadn't realized that had gone away by degrees with Jack, but I guess it has. Jack can be in his room playing quietly and I may not worry about him for five minutes or so. But having a baby back in my care, wow, what a change. I could feel my body stressing more. Is she ok? Is she still breathing? Watch out for her neck, be careful when you pick her up, support her spine- All kinds of craziness running through my mind I had forgotten about now that Jack was a little older. I mean, I still worry about Jack and the fact that he might still have some freak accident, but the level of concern compared to a 5ish-month old is totally different. Throw in the fact that I also have to train Jack to keep his mitts off of the bubba, and a whole new level of mama grizzly bear comes out. First of all, I didn't let Jack within arms reach of her. When he gets upset, he tends to swipe at whatever is handy with his hand. He still hits Heather and me, and it's a huge trial of my life not to backhand him back across the room when he head-butts one of us or pinches Heather. Anyways.....

Jack was nice to the Bubba Blue Eyes, and was SO excited by that walker thing, he enjoyed it more than she did, I'm sure. Jack knows you have to be 'soft' with the Bubba. Repeating that to him coupled with the look in my eye kept him well behaved, until a certian point. I know when that point came, because Jack started saying 'Bye, beh-bee, bye beh-bee." Hilarious! It was like, ok, Dad's paying way more attention to you than me, plus you're in my seat, so.....now it's time for you to go.

As soon as I pulled Baby Sis out of the walker Jack was all over it. I wish I had gotten some pics of that because it was funny. Jack would climb in, and of course get "guck!" his word for stuck, and as soon as I pulled him out (with one arm, cuz the other arm had Baby Sis) he would crawl back in again, only of course he's too tall for that thing now.

Jack is starting to understand sharing, and by understand, I mean that he doesn't get it at all. I would hand Baby a toy, which of course belongs to Jack, and he would want to grab it back from her. Of course Mama Grizzly Bear me wouldn't let him, so he'd grab his other toys to his chest and say "MINE." As if I was moments away from confiscating all his stuff and handing it over to the interloper. A nice preview of What May Be to Come, if and when we have another bubba of our own. Time and sharing and taking turns are still foreign concepts to his little brain. He's still all impulse and no control. Somedays I can't wait for that to change. Wait a sec, sometimes I still make stupid impulse decisions, so that means...............oh shoot dang, I'm gonna be waiting a long time, huh?